The Dutch Squeeze is a series of pastiches written by Lex De Groot. The last one is new, the first five were published in the Daily Bulletin of the 1998 FORBO-KROMMENIE International Tournament.

Dutch Squeeze [1]

Dutch Squeeze gang terrorises London high-class tournament

Police arrest gang leader and accomplice

London - Tuesday 21 Feb 1968

London Metropolitan police have arrested several suspects in the recent cases of swindle, perpetrated at the prestigious London Times Invitational tournament. The main suspect is a Dutch merchant banker, Cornelis Slavenburg, also known under the alias 'Bob'. His main accomplice, the painting contractor Hans Kreyns, better known in underworld circles as 'Smiley', was also taken into custody.

A police spokesman said that the pair had gained unlawful access to the Ritz hotel, site of the renowned London Times Invita-tional Bridge Tournament, and had caused enormous upheaval amongst the players by perpetrating one of the most daring and hideous coups seen for many years.
Two of the best known players in the world (who have asked for their names not to be released for fear of general pillory and derision) were robbed of their rightful possessions by the pair of Dutch con men.
Disguised as genuine bridge players, they took their places at the table of their victims, and pretended to play an honest hand of bridge. In reality, however, these cardsharps swindled their hapless victims in a manner described by tournament officials as "disgusting deceit," and "nothing short of grand larceny." The sheer brutality of the crime justifies the introduction of an entirely new term, which expresses its horrid nature. It shall henceforth be known as the Dutch Squeeze.

This is what had occurred.

-	K 7 4 K J 7 3 K Q 8 4 10 4
Q 9 6 2 8 4 A J 7 2 Q 6 3	N E W S	A J 8 5 3 - 10 9 5 3 K 8 5 2
-	10 A Q 10 9 6 5 2 6 A J 9 7

The culprits, 'Smiley' and 'Bob' were sitting North and South, respectively. During the auction, they had been pushed to the level of 5

by the gallant East-West, and were duly doubled. West led the

2, for the

K and

A. The spade return was ruffed, and 'Bob' played the

6. West rose with the

A, and continued with another spade.
After pulling trumps, 'Bob', instead of cashing his two top diamonds for club discards, and ceding the last club loser for one down, like a man, cheated by not taking any diamond at all, and playing all his hearts. What else could West do but to hold on to his three diamonds? And the same goes for East. Thus, in the end

K and

Q fell under 'Bob's

A, and he scored

J97 as well, tricks to which he was not entitled by any standard of common decency.
It was also reported that while 'Bob' was carrying out his deceitful plan, 'Smiley' was blowing smoke into the eyes of the victims in order to cloud their view of the proceedings. This aspect of the case could, however, not be confirmed.
The pair was charged with indecent assault and will appear before Magistrate's Court on Friday.

Dutch Squeeze [2]

Don't get Nabbed!
A warning to the unwary

The Hague - Friday 22 Feb 1995

The Hague police have issued a warning to the participants of the Forbo-Krommenie tournament, currently being held at the Kurhaus, that once again characters of low moral standards (and unjustifiably calling themselves bridge players) are making the proper proceedings unsafe for the unsuspecting. These scoundrels are perpetrating the foul play called The Dutch Squeeze. One of them has been identified as Bart Nab (The Nabber), a "worthy" successor to the infamous Bob "Dutch Squeeze" Slavenburg.

To fortify yourself defensively against their evil operations you may test your mettle on this deal with which the pair cheated their courageous opponents recently. Please, take the West seat.

S/none	J 10 9 6 4 9 A 6 2 K J 6 5
Q 2 A J 10 8 4 K 7 Q 10 8 4	N E W S
-

West	Noord	Oost	Zuid
			1
2	3	4	5
Pass	5	Pass	5
Pass	6	All pass

You cash your

A on opening lead (partner gives an encouraging signal) and switch to a trump. South (Nab) wins

A, ruffs a heart, crosses to the

K and ruffs another heart as partner contributes the

4 and

Q in turn. On the next two spade leads you pitch your remaining hearts and partner sloughs his hearts and

8.
Now, South plays his last spade and you must find a discard

from

K 7

Q 10 8 3, while dummy still holds

A 6

K J 6 5. Which is it to be?
Clearly, South must hold the

A for his opening bid, and he will score four club tricks after finessing against your

Q if you unguard that suit. So it seems that you should blank your

K counting on partner to hold the queen. On the other hand, there's something peculiar going on. Presumably, south does not hold

Q and

J, as he would have taken a diamond finesse earlier, and with just the queen he might have cashed the

A some tricks back in order to clarify the situation for himself and as a Vienna coup in the event you held

Q-third and partner four clubs and the

K. And also in view of the Nabber's reputation you are beginning to smell a rat: could it be that he has left

Q-fourth and a stiff

A? That's certainly consistent with partner's diamond discards while trying to keep dummy's fourth club guarded. Yes, that must be it, so you discard a club, upon which the Nabber cringes almost imperceptibly as he, too, pitches a club from dummy, and continues with a diamond to the ace and other diamond for one down. The whole deal was:

-	J 10 9 6 4 9 A 6 2 K J 6 5
Q 2 A J 10 8 4 K 7 Q 10 8 4	N E W S	7 K Q 6 3 J 9 8 4 9 7 4 2
-	A K 8 5 3 7 5 2 Q 10 5 3 A

As you can see, had you abandoned diamonds, South would have scooped up the entire diamond suit. Partner was quite right in not throwing any clubs, paradoxically because he had so many of them. This allowed you to pitch one.
And yet, the Nabber still has something to learn from his great predecessor. The hallmark of the Dutch Squeeze is that one or more winners and a threat must remain unreachable in dummy. If, therefore, he had cashed his

A earlier, the position would have been pure. Would you still have seen through it?

Dutch Squeeze [3]

Dutch Squeeze virus engulfs all of Europe
French now afflicted also!

The Hague - Saturday Feb 21 1997. Disturbing reports have reached us that the infamous Dutch Squeeze technique has been perpetrated by a French pair at the European Pairs Championships currently being held in Scheveningen. This time, the culprits were a French pair whose names were released by the Bridge Vice Squad as Michel Abécassis (also known as the Doctor) and Jean-Christophe Quantin (known in the "milieu" as monsieur Q).

On their way to winning the Silver Medal, albeit by questionable means, they were considerably assisted by the result on this hand, which is submitted in evidence of their moral standards. You be the judge.

E/NS	K 5 4 A J 4 2 9 4 2 A 3
A 9 2 K 6 5 10 7 5 K Q 9 6	N E W S	- 10 9 8 7 Q J 8 J 10 9 7 5 4
-	Q J 10 8 7 6 3 Q A K 6 3 2

West	North	East	South
	Abécassis		Quantin
	Pass	Pass	1
Pass	2	Pass	2
Pass	4	Pass	4NT
Pass	5	Pass	6
Pass	Pass	Pass

West's king of clubs lead immediately removed an important dummy entry as far as establishing the hearts were concerned. So, monsieur Q ruffed dummy's last club and led

Q, ducked. The next queen to be led,

Q, was coverd, however, and killed by

A. With only one entry left any hope of establishing the hearts was gone, and so monsieur Q left that suit alone, reverted to spades, and the ace won. The spade return was won in dummy and declarer crossed to the

A following this up with some more trumps until this position was reached:

-	- J 4 3 2 9 -
- 6 5 10 7 9	N E W S	- 10 9 8 J 8 -
-	8 7 - K 6 3 -

Anxious to avoid a revealing discard, West threw

9 and

7 on the next two spades, while East thought he needed all his hearts and he, too, abandoned the diamond suit.
And thus, monsieur Q had managed to deceive his opponents into letting him score the remainder of his diamonds - an act of culpable trickery.

Dutch Squeeze [4]

Brazilians treat French to Dutch Squeeze
Brazilian top pair infected by local virus while playing in The Hague.

The Hague - Sunday 22 Feb 1991. While playing in the prestigeous Statenbank Bridge Tournament in The Hague, the sympathetic Brazialian pair of Gabriel Chagas and Marcelo Branco were taken ill, having attracted a vicious strain of a local virus called IDSV (Infectious Dutch Squeeze Virus). The ensuing disease caused them to maltreat their French colleagues in a most despicable manner, very much to their own regret. In view of their inabilty to resist the infection, police have decided not to lay charges, this being a clear-cut case of force majeure.

Weakened by a long overseas voyage, the Brazilians did not have sufficient resistance to withstand the onslaught of a particularly virulent strain of the IDS-virus, while they were playing in the Statenbank Tournament. Soon after, the symptoms manifested themselves, when they were pitted against the French champion pair of Paul Chemla and Christian Mari.
A local physician confirmed the early diagnosis when reviewing what had occurred on this deal:

N/NS	Q 10 9 6 5 6 4 A Q 9 6 K 2
K 8 7 K 8 7 5 3 J 8 7 5 3	N E W S	J 7 4 J 10 2 J 10 4 2 Q 10 9 4
-	A 3 2 A K Q 9 8 5 3 - A 6 4

West's opening lead of the

5 was won in dummy with

K. Declarer, Gabriel Chagas, continued with clubs, ruffing the third round. He now played six rounds of trumps at superhuman speed, and East's discards after running out of hearts were

4, and

2, the high-low diamond discards suggesting two or four diamonds.

Then Chagas led his last heart and Chemla, West, had to find a discard fromK8 K8 in view of dummy's Q10 AQ . Unfortunately, unfairly affected by declarer's diseased speed of play, West elected to part with the 8, whereupon Q was pitched off dummy. Now, of course, declarer made his contract. Of course, if South had held a stiff A and doubleton, declarer would always get home; therefore, West should play him for A-tripleton and a diamond void.
Needless to say, poor Chagas apologised afterwards for his unfriendly treatment of the French, but alas, the score had to stand.

Dutch Squeeze [5]

Dutch Squeeze virus infects lower echelons
No-one in Dutch bridge circles appears resistant.

Utrecht, Dec 1997. Officials from the Dutch Bridge League have reported that the much feared IDS-virus has invaded even the lower regions of the bridge community, having trickled down to the First Division level. The afflicted player was Niels van de Gaast, who was taken to hospital shorly after the infection manifested itself, but who is now said to be recovering well.

The setting was the final round of the team of four competition where the following deal appeared.

-	A 9 3 K Q 8 7 A 9 8 7 2 8
K Q J 7 9 5 3 2 4 3 7 4 2	N E W S	5 3 J 10 6 4 6 K Q J 6 5 3
-	10 8 6 4 A K Q J 10 5 A 10 9

North-South had arrived at a contract of 7

after East had overcalled 2

. Without a spade lead which removed a vital dummy entry, South, van der Gaast, could have played for the drop of

J-10-9 with the added chance of a major suit squeeze in the event West held

K-Q-J as well as

J-10-9-fourth, or a minimum of five hearts. But after the

K-start, the only easy legitimate chance (less than 1.8%) was

J-10-9-third, which van der Gaast judged to be insufficiently attractive.
So as not to give the opponents much opportunity to signal their heart length he didn't even play a single round of that suit. He won the

A, ruffed two clubs - necessary for eleven tricks - and ran his trumps. On the last of these, West had to choose between discarding a heart and his final spade honor. Unfortunately, he chose wrong and as a result, South raked in another three tricks in spades.
What happened at the other table? 6

, bid and made.

Dutch Squeeze [6]

Dutch Squeeze Gang has British Branch!

London - Monday 21 Feb 1969. Not only was all of London shocked last year bij the shenanigans of a gang of Dutch so-called bridge players, but their apprehension and incarceration have not put an end to the spate of bridge crimes, and the shock continues, albeit in a home-grown variety. Police believe that the guilty, a pair of English players, which they named as Maurice Harrison-Gray and Tony Priday, have now fled the country only to resurface at the European Championships which are being held at Warsaw, Poland.

Readers of this paper will remember the commotion involving a Dutch pair at the Sunday Times, a year ago to the day. Disturbing reports from Poland suggest that the above-mentioned pair, no doubt aided by the aristocratic-sounding double-barreled name of the main villain, has wormed itself onto the British team. In the guise of a true gentlemen, Harrison-Gray is reported to have emulated his teacher, Slavenburg, by pulling the wool over the eyes of his hapless Norwegian victims in the following deal.
Consider the problem from the west seat, and practice your defence so that you will be well prepared in the event the pair of cardsharps dare to set foot again on British soil.

-	9 7 2 J 3 K Q 9 3 A 10 7 2
J 8 6 3 K 10 8 7 J 10 4 2 3	N E W S	Q 5 9 6 4 2 A 7 6 5 J 9 6
-	A K 10 4 A Q 5 8 K Q 8 5 4

South has bid clubs and rebid spades, and against his contract of 6

you lead the

7. Dummy's

J wins as partner plays the

4 and declarer the

5. A club is led off dummy to south's

Q, partner following small, and it then goes

Q to partner's ace. The

2 return is won by declarer's ace and the

Q is led, covered and ruffed. South cashes the

A and leads another club to his king as partner follows with

9 and

J and you discard

2 and

10.

South now leads 8 and you must find a discard from
J 8 6 3 - J 10 - with dummy still holding
9 7 2 - K 9 3 - .
Clearly, if south has another diamond you must keep your diamond guard or else he will score another two tricks in diamonds and only needs two more in spades - something you can't do anything about with jack fourth.

At the table the Norwegian west threw off one small spade, and another one on the 5 which came next, in order to protect his diamond holding. The sad result was that south, holding A-K-10-4 scored four spade tricks.
Still, when the 8 appeared on the table west should have paused to reflect the situation as there was no need to play in tempo. South must have five clubs (otherwise east's play of small, nine, and jack make no sense), four spades (south's rebid), three hearts (east's return of the 2), and therefore only one diamond. Nor did south bid or rebid notrumps, which again confirms his 4-3-1-5 shape. The conclusion must be that the K was left in dummy as it was, in effect, a useless trick and providing only a discard for declarer's fourth spade. Thus, declarer was trying to hoodwink the defenders out of a spade trick -two even- and not out of a diamond trick.
So, beware of the Dutch Squeeze Gang, whatever their nationality, and take some comfort in the fact that their devious ways can frequently be unmasked if one keeps one's head cool.

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