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Bridge
is music and you’re tone-deaf! by Norberto Bocchi |
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I have to admit that my first steps in the bridge world were not
particularly glorious, but even then were quite profitable. In fact at age
thirteen I acted as caddy at the bridge club where my father played,
collecting the boards and taking them to the tables, for the princely sum of
four thousand lira (about two euros today). Between one delivery and the next
I would cast a glance and overhear snippets of conversations … but in those
days bridge was a bit of a mystery to me. However, with cards in general I had already struck up a friendship and after school
I would amuse myself by ripping off my friends in games of all kinds played
in the bars in my neighbourhood. My weekly income was then further supplemented by a marketing
operation which seemed very smart to me and involved
my sister, Mabel, a famous basketball player, although she remained
completely unaware of my actions: every morning I got her to sign some
autographs which I would then sell to my schoolmates or swap for break-time
snacks … in short in those days I was a real businessman rather than a
bridgeplayer, a quality which has diminished considerably over the
years. Leaving behind the bars and snacks, I was then promoted to kibitzer in
the club where I’d worked as caddy, and after a long period during which I
never even held any cards, I finally threw myself into playing rubber bridge
and then proper tournaments. Right from the start it was clear that I had
quite a talent for bridge and so when I was 18/19 I decided to make a change
in my life, making the following choices in this order:
b) leave school ... I’d had more than
enough! c) hang up my basketball
shoes ... I’d been playing in
the premier league In fact I’d clearly realized that it was far better to enjoy myself
more and sweat less … it was unfortunate then that once thrown into this new
world, about which I knew very little from the inside, I found myself being
brought up by the most difficult, demanding, cantankerous, BRILLIANT, partner
to be found in Italy: Arturo Franco. And here are two anecdotes about this experience. After Arturo had given me an extremely messy (or so it seemed to me
then) system to study, He summoned me for a training session to check if I’d
been diligent. Right at the first hand, after a bidding full of relays?, it was up to
my teacher to have the last word on the final contract. The cards were as
follows:
He came close to me and said very calmly: "You see, Norberto, the
whole world, having the information I have, would bid 7 What was incredible was that he said all this having only seen his own
cards. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so disheartened: I felt like getting up
and leaving. I didn’t, but at that precise moment I realised that if I wanted
to become a real bridgeplayer, I still had a long way to go. The second episode took place during the Italian Team Championship. We
found ourselves at the table with two gurus, Belladonna and Garozzo, while
behind, beside, around us, in fact everywhere, were at least three hundred
avid spectators. I remember that I was as nervous as a child before his first
Christmas concert. Thanks to some divine intervention, given the
circumstances, I played the right cards up till the 19th deal. The
spectators were right behind us as the leaders. Despite the good score and
the euphoric atmosphere, I noticed however that hand after hand and for no
apparent reason Arturo was getting more and more down. Then at last (for
him!), during the 20th hand when by this point I was extremely stressed, I
let the opponents make an insignificant overtrick. What on earth had I done! He insulted me in the most imaginative ways including: “Bridge is
music and you are definitely tone-deaf … you can’t seriously think of being a
professional if you make such terrible blunders”. He went on ranting and
raving for at least five minutes in front of the dumbfounded opponents and
the throng, so much so that it seemed like being on "Candid
Camera". The year passed and the partners changed: from Mosca to Belladonna,
from Cedolin to Ferraro and Versace, ending up with Giorgino Duboin, my
partner for the past twelve years. But let’s take a step back in time to 1987 when I was returning by
plane from China, where I’d been playing for ten days with Guido Ferraro. Not content with this and being real bridge addicts, we took advantage
of a stopover in Paris to participate in the Cino Del Duca tournament which
happened to start that very day. During the very last board of the tournament, after a rather flat
performance, we found ourselves at the table with a French couple, probably
lovers rather than husband and wife… and I’m sure that from what follows
you’ll agree with me. The auction goes like this:
2
To
cut a long story short: my remaining four hearts were all good. In the
meantime, while we calmly took all there was to take, from the third trick
onwards, i.e. eleven times, the Frenchman, who was aware that his partner
never had a heart stopper, starter asking her in a very friendly and polite
manner: "No more hearts, dear?". After each and every trick the
lady, increasingly more ashamed and almost under the table, replied in a
feeble and equally polite voice: "No, dear". After
every “no”, he diligently and carefully ripped his card into four identical
pieces. Guido and I were absolutely astonished and about to burst into
hysterics. Finally he got up from the table with a little bow, but with an
expression like Jack Nicholson in “The Shining” and left us saying:"
Cette jeux est magnifique!" (this game is magnificent!). A few years later my partnership with Giorgino Duboin began, and as you can imagine over the these years we’ve seen it all and I could go on forever. But perhaps one of the funniest occurred when after having played Blue Club for some time we switched to Natural, even if it wasn’t very natural with the numerous gadgets we added.
In
one of the first tournaments we played with this new system we bid in this
way:
Both in a cold sweat – me because five times I’d bid clubs I didn’t
have and I was terrified that Giorgio would pass; him because he was
respecting all the rules but knowing how anarchic I am he feared that I had
completely forgotten the system. Finally his trust in me was rewarded as the
contract was made, but be sure that Giorgino’s lifetime was most certainly
shortened by at least three years by that hellish club bidding.
Dulcis in fundo my captain, sponsor
and friend, Maria Teresa Lavazza, who has put up with me for 21 years. Also
with her there are a few stories to tell, including one which happened
recently in Viareggio, where Maria Teresa played together with Ferraro. After a rather difficult auction, our teammates reached a 4 How had he dared. Maria Teresa, interpreting “little one” as a
reference to her, got annoyed and replied angrily: “That’s what you’d say to
your dog”. Obviously
Ferraro meant a small heart from dummy. Enough said. I’ll sign off with just one wish: that Menton will be
great fun for us all. |
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